Mom was moved to a group home one week ago. It's a huge relief for me because I was learning rather quickly how she wasn't living independently very well at all. She needs 24 hour care and she's getting it now. I did like the place she was before now, but it felt - sad when you walked in. There were a lot of old people in various stages of aging. A lot of them would just sit around and sleep or stare like they were waiting for someone to come get them. Mom doesn't have a good concept of where she is but where she is is fine as long as she's able to get up and move around. She loves to help out and clean and they are happy to let her.
Giving credit where credit is due (don't check...this is the same blog...) her oldest son did a great job finding this place and getting her moved quickly. It's small and she has two caregivers there at all times. The owner is amazing and incredibly sweet. You can just feel the love and good energy when you walk in the door. It's specifically for dementia and Alzheimer's patients. The goal for us, her children, now is to keep her out of a nursing home. We all want to see her live out her days in a loving facility and this seems to be perfect.
She said to me on my first visit, "I wish I could go home and just live with you". As much as I love my mother, I do not feel like I'm nearly well qualified enough to be her caretaker. In a perfect world, she could live with me with in-home care while I work. But I want to enjoy her now and not be resentful for having to take care of her. I believe she is much better off for all her children. This place is much closer so I'm able to go over during the week as well as on the weekend.
My brothers and I have finally found a common ground - keeping mom out of a nursing home and keeping her happy in the last years of her life. It just feels good, weird, but good. I don't know if this is a short-lived ride, but I'm going to enjoy it for as long as I can. And with Allan's help, if it takes a nasty turn again, he will help me to get it back on the right track.
|Mom is happy again!|